Monday October 8th, 2018.
The day started early as I got up to spend a few last moments with Mr. Michael Willey before he headed out the door to school at 7 AM. He is 8 years old….bounding in energy and living life at its fullest. He is smart and funny and insistent on having 100% of our attention…much like his father at his age. He still hugs and giggles and has stubborn moments of pushing back, but he brings us so much joy.
Later that morning D’Man is also preparing for school. Now a Middle Schooler who is introspective and analytical. He is profoundly kind and deep and talks quietly and close up to share his new favorite app or creation. He waits his turn so his little brother can have time with us, but he engages at a level that warms our hearts. He smiles large for grandma’s constant pictures and he still gives and receives genuine hugs.
Off they go to school. Jonathan and Jme prepare for a new week filled with work and church and baseball games and soon soccer practices. They patiently manage life in a busy home with grace and love and kindness. They so eagerly allow us to do life with them in normal and meaningful ways to make memories that only family can make.
We head out the door to return to our home. Enroute we stop for a brief few moments at the home of Dick and Virjean Camp. Life is hard for them right now as Dick’s Parkinson’s Disease progresses and Virjean continues to give him full-time care, and yet they are preparing for dinner guests who no doubt are coming to give them encouragement and love. In the few short moments we stop by Virjean eagerly shares with us a video of their youngest grand-daughter in Spain with her parents. Morgan is enjoying an ice cream cone, surrounded by ancient buildings but they go almost unnoticed as she screams in delight at having an ice cream cone to show her parents.
Arriving home we are welcomed by our sweet Grand Dog Citrus who fills the void in our lives left by the passing of our two precious labs. Soon our daughter arrives and we eagerly catch up from our week away and head out to dinner and a movie, wanting to spend time with her now we are back home.
Later I find myself checking my social media accounts only to discover that my twin grand nieces, born at 31 weeks are progressing so well and smile as I see pictures of them being held in the NICU by their overjoyed parents. Babies have a way of changing our lives and reminding us of HOPE.
I further scroll down and learn of the passing of my friend’s husband…just months before and right after retiring from an amazing Army career, he was diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. The words escape me to know what to say to my friend, but I make a feeble attempt, knowing that just reaching out to her will hopefully be enough.
My brother-in-law, also fighting Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer was given great news that his trial is working and his tumor has shrunk significantly and his cancer blood markers are way down. Two men, similar ages, same disease, such different results. My emotions are conflicted as I am up and down with in minutes.
I sit here on my chair in quiet and as I begin to pray I find myself realizing that with birth there ultimately comes death…that God has ordained it so. I wish death only came to us when we are old and in our sleep, but sadly that is not so. I quietly pray for understanding but as always that will be for another time…so I ask instead for wisdom. For wisdom to know how to live in a way that matters. How to love in a way that is received and communicated. Wisdom to know how to order my days with things that matter most and how to communicate that to those I love. Wisdom to listen when talking would be so much easier.
God has shown me in these few months since moving to Florida and slowing down that it’s okay to build margin in to my days to be available to respond and to ponder. ….to dream and to create….to think deeper and talk longer over coffee. God has shown me that life is lived in the MOMENTS not the years…and to make those moments matter.
As I celebrate another birthday in a few days I will CELEBRATE the every day moments of blessing in the ordinary things of life and recommit to being PRESENT as I walk through my days with joy and love and never, ever to forget the blessing I have to just be alive and loved.
lookingbackandforth 
It truly was an ordinary… And VERY extraordinary day my love. Thank you for sharing this… Next chapter in your book👍🏻😉
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Always enjoy the moments your in….
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